Dread not infanticide; the crime is imaginary: we are always mistress of what we carry in our womb, and we do no more harm in destroying this kind of matter than in evacuating another, by medicines, when we feel the need.
Marquis De Sade
I just watched the trailer for Bella the movie -I saw it last night. I cried copious tears at points during the movie, I do not cry easily actually. My daughter asked: "what's wrong mommy?" The scenes weren't particularly moving at times, yet I weeped.
I hardly slept and planned on writing on the movie. I had so many thoughts after I watched it, reminded me of when I saw Schindler's List and felt such shame I let murder go on around me like German shopkeepers. I related to this film on so many levels, abortion has touched my life over and over, almost as if the sin of it is trying to kill me.
The movie was fiction I thought, but I learned today while watching the trailer it is based on a true story. What isn't? When I read that I felt jealous, a true story of abortion with a happy ending. When it comes to abortion, few stories have happy endings. Just endings. I was crying over those, over all the people I lost.
I lost two children I would have readily adopted. I lost friends, one in particular. And worst of all, all the lives lost, even amongst the living.
Bella almost seemed like make-believe to me. Real life doesn't turn out this way, but sometimes it does. I know one couple that became a family through the strength and generosity of a woman not so different from the woman in this movie.They both ironically were hostesses and not so ironically used by men.
As we drove home my daughter, from the backseat, gave her commentary of the film. She said she liked how they showed the woman changing her mind from thinking having a child would destroy her to realizing the child saved her. Then she said, something else to me. And I realized having children has saved me too.
